Letter 8

Dear Clank

Well thank god it's Friday, I noticed the other day, coming into work, that I am on autopilot. The weeks fly by, I mean it's July in a few weeks time and then after that, clearing starts all over again. Things are not looking good here, I can tell you that. Admissions are down, the calls are down. Switchboard is always the first to notice. I have a sneaking suspicion that we are being looked at as a means of outsourcing. Fuck 'em I say. We also generate some income so they won't be saving as much as they think they will. Still no-one has approached us about Eddies job. They intend to replace him but if that's the case they better start advertisng soon as neither Steve nor I intend to take on any of his work. Make a mug of me once, shame on them. Make a mug of me twice, shame on me.

The other good thing about Friday, is it is takeaway night. I love being able to get home and just order something on the phone and then chill, although tonight, I will be doing a bit of housework as I will be at Gills tomorrow until Sunday. Someone else to do the cooking, lovely, I hope she can cook!!

Spoke to Mumsey last night. She said she will never go along Victoria avenue again. Like me, you loved driving through the tunnel of trees in the summer. I must admit, the thought of going back to the house does make my stomach feel a bit wobbly, I will have to one day though, if I sell it I will need to clear out the shed and get my stuff from storage. I have such lovely memories of going home at weekends and driving off somewhere with you. Snugbury's, Bunbury, Cheerbrooks, Chester. Do you remember the night when your Mum was living with you and we went out for a Chinese. You were so desperate for some time away from your Mum that we drove almost to Wrexham and pulled over in a layby and just sat in the dark smoking a fag. Then drove over to Bunbury and giggled in the dark about the time I got my wing mirror 'knocked off'. Mmmmmm where was it we drove when I hired that car? Somewhere in Wales, the destination
escapes me. I remember being stuck in traffic on the way back and skidding on that tiny oil patch. Good job we were only going slowly. For some reason, I also remember us going to Snugburys and you getting really arsey with the girl because you couldn't have a double scoop on on of their little cones. LOL

I feel ok most of the time, then a little comment or something brings me back to reality. The human psyche really does a lot to protect itself doesn't it? Most of the time is spent in denial. I was talking to another friend about it. She thinks that the distance (in miles) has a lot to do with it. Her brother was living in New Zealand when he died, she says most of the time she feels great, then a little thing will start her off.

I am worried about my Dad. He looked almost comatosed last night. He hardly touched his food. I sat there thinking, please please please don't you die on me as well. I really do think that would be the final straw. I can see him get older and older in his ways, and he seems to have really gone down hill this last year. I am forever asking him if he is alright and just he says: yes yes, I am fine.

Anyway my dear, it's time I got on with some stuff. I will write after I get back from Gills.
Lots of Love
Me xxx

P.S I don't think Shaun will be there. N N W W. LOL